Below you will find just one more insightful speech from the masterful Mark Twain. But first: A commercial!
E4 is The BRAND PROMISE for Marketing and Brand Keynote Speaker Conor Cunneen
Energize
Educate
Entertain and
Easy to work with
Conor Cunneen is a Chicago based Irish keynote speaker, speech writer and award winning humorist who happens to be a big fan of a Mark Twain, probably the finest funny motvational keynote speaker ever. Below you can read one of a large number of speeches by this great humorous keynote speaker. It is one of many on the site of IrishmanSpeaks, an in-demand marketing and branding keynote speaker. But first, just a little bit of promotion!
"In my close to thirty years of association work, I have NEVER seen a speaker as well received as you."
Incentive Marketing Association
"You made me laugh and you made me cry."
Cancer Insitute of New Jersey
Conor's client list as a keynote speaker include:
Financial Services
Pharmaceutical
Foodservice
Non-Profit
Hi-tech
Dental
Associations
Education
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To see clips of this Chicago-based Irish Keynote Speaker and Humorous Motivational Speaker Conor Cunneen in action, hit these video links showcasing Conor's unique combination of Substance WITH Humor
*Don't Believe your own Blarney and other Life Lessons
*Adden Humur two you're Presentashun!
Conor has worked in senior marketing and sales foodservice positions in Ireland (General Manager Sales & Marketing, Bestfoods Foodservice), UK (Marketing Director, Bestfoods Foodservice) and USA (VP Marketing Unilever Foodservice) prior to becoming an in-demand keynote speaker offering Substance WITH Humor.
His foodservice articles on McDonald's, Starbucks, Darden, Applebee's have been published in Ireland, UK, Australia and USA. Read Conor's article on Leadership Lessons from the McDonald's Turnaround published in Nation's Restaurant News.
“You did a terrific job at the conference on Tuesday. ...I just wanted you to know you were the outstanding speaker on the day - and received rave reviews. Some of the comments received back on the questionnaire in regard to your presentation were: ‘Worth attending for this alone,’ ‘Great Content,’ ‘Easy to listen to/ motivational, interesting’ “
Brands in Foodservice conference, London
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You may have arrived at this page having searched for any of the following
Healthcare Keynote Speaker
Motivational Healthcare Speaker
Humorous Healthcare Keynote Speaker
Irish keynote speaker
Keynote Speaker Ireland
Marketing Keynote Speaker
Keynote Speaker Business Growth
Keynote Speaker Foodservice
Keynote Speaker Financial Services
Humorous Funny Keynote Speaker
Keynote Speaker Sales Conference
And in the words of Yul Brynner in The King and I "Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera!"
Welcome to the website of Irishman and Chicago based humorous business and healthcare keynote speaker, award winner humorist, former VP Marketing Unilever Foodservice and a humorous, motivational, funny healthcare keynote speaker who apologizes regularly for the ludicrous level of hyperbole in relation to phrases like:
"Humorous keynote speaker on healthcare (even health care) business, marketing and life whose humorous, motivational, inspirational, funny, substantive keynote speaker skills results in his audience saying things like – ‘What a wonderfully funny healthcare keynote speaker,’ or ‘the best humorous, inspirational, motivational keynote speaker, healthcare, cancer, oncology I have seen today’ (or any other today hopefully).
This Chicago based keynote speaker – healthcare, Cancer, Financial Services, Foodservice, Marketing, Branding, Business Growth – blames all this absurd emphasis on terms like healthcare conference speaker or motivational healhcare keynote speaker on search engines. This Irish keynote speaker (based in Chicago) has spoken in places as diverse as Helsinki, Madrid, London, Dublin, Glasgow, Toronto and many cities in the United States. Conor says "Search engines are a key part of my marketing mix. Many clients have found me by keying in phrases like 'Keynote Speaker healthcare,' 'Oncology Keynote Speaker,' ‘funny keynote speaker healthcare’ or ‘humorous keynote speaker cancer,’ (Conor is a two time cancer survivor) or ‘keynote speaker Ireland,’ or "Award winning humorist and humorous keynote business or marketing speaker who has a wonderful Cork accent.’ Well, actually no one has keyed the last search term, but it did allow me to put the following words – humorist, humorous, funny healthcare keynote business, marketing keynote speaker - once again into a sentence so that search engines might find this website.
If you are seeking any of the above or you are looking for a speaker whose Brand Promise is E4: Energize, Educate, Entertain AND Easy to Work with, a humorous funny keynote speaker who is deadly serious about doing a good job for you as a meeting planner and would be thrilled if your boss says to you following Conor’s presentation, "You are just the best meeting planner in the world to have booked such an inspirational, funny, humorous keynote business speaker on Healthcare, Marketing, Foodservice, Cancer, Business Growth, Teamwork who has no shame about using over the top descriptions," well this keynote speaker from Midleton, Co. Cork Ireland can be contacted at his Chicago office - 630 718 1643.
ADDRESS AT A PUBLIC MEETING OF THE NEW YORK ASSOCIATION FOR PROMOTING THE INTERESTS OF THE BLIND AT THE WALDORF ASTORIA, MARCH 29, 1906
If you detect any awkwardness in my movements and infelicities in my conduct I will offer the explanation that I never presided at a meeting of any kind before in my life, and that I do find it out of my line. I supposed I could do anything anybody else could, but I recognize that experience helps, and I do feel the lack of that experience. I don't feel as graceful and easy as I ought to be in order to impress an audience. I shall not pretend that I know how to umpire a meeting like this, and I shall just take the humble place of the Essex band.
There was a great gathering in a small New England town, about twenty-five years ago. I remember that circumstance because there was something that happened at that time. It was a great occasion. They gathered in the militia and orators and everybody from all the towns around. It was an extraordinary occasion.
The little local paper threw itself into ecstasies of admiration and tried to do itself proud from beginning to end. It praised the orators, the militia, and all the bands that came from everywhere, and all this in honest country newspaper detail, but the writer ran out of adjectives toward the end. Having exhausted his whole magazine of praise and glorification, he found he still had one band left over. He had to say something about it, and he said: "The Essex band done the best it could."
I am an Essex band on this occasion, and I am going to get through as well as inexperience and good intentions will enable me. I have got all the documents here necessary to instruct you in the objects and intentions of this meeting and also of the association which has called the meeting. But they are too voluminous. I could not pack those statistics into my head, and I had to give it up. I shall have to just reduce all that mass of statistics to a few salient facts. There are too many statistics and figures for me. I never could do anything with figures, never had any talent for mathematics, never accomplished anything in my efforts at that rugged study, and to-day the only mathematics I know is multiplication, and the minute I get away up in that, as soon as I reach nine times seven--
[Mr. Clemens lapsed into deep thought for a moment. He was trying to figure out nine times seven, but it was a hopeless task, and he turned to St. Clair McKelway, who sat near him. Mr. McKelway whispered the answer, and the speaker resumed:]
I've got it now. It's eighty-four. Well, I can get that far all right with a little hesitation. After that I am uncertain, and I can't manage a statistic.
"This association for the--"
[Mr. Clemens was in another dilemma. Again he was obliged to turn to Mr. McKelway.]
Oh yes, for promoting the interests of the blind. It's a long name. If I could I would write it out for you and let you take it home and study it, but I don't know how to spell it. And Mr. Carnegie is down in Virginia somewhere. Well, anyway, the object of that association which has been recently organized, five months ago, in fact, is in the hands of very, very energetic, intelligent, and capable people, and they will push it to success very surely, and all the more surely if you will give them a little of your assistance out of your pockets.
The intention, the purpose, is to search out all the blind and find work for them to do so that they may earn, their own bread. Now it is dismal enough to be blind--it is dreary, dreary life at best, but it can be largely ameliorated by finding something for these poor blind people to do with their hands. The time passes so heavily that it is never day or night with them, it is always night, and when they have to sit with folded hands and with nothing to do to amuse or entertain or employ their minds, it is drearier and drearier.
And then the knowledge they have that they must subsist on charity, and so often reluctant charity, it would renew their lives if they could have something to do with their hands and pass their time and at the same time earn their bread, and know the sweetness of the bread which is the result of the labor of one's own hands. They need that cheer and pleasure. It is the only way you can turn their night into day, to give them happy hearts, the only thing you can put in the place of the blessed sun. That you can do in the way I speak of.
