Irishman Speaks - Conor Cunneen

More excellent material from a keynote speaker who was humorous and sometimes inspirational. Clemens (Mark Twain) makes some references to negroes and “niggers” in this piece but he did that to virtually everyone. By the standards of his day, he was a very open minded liberal person who promoted civil rights and suffrage for women.

As well as being a humorous and wonderful keynote speaker, he was also a kind-hearted man.

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ON STANLEY AND LIVINGSTONE

          Mr. Clemens was entertained at dinner by the Whitefriars' Club,

          London, at the Mitre Tavern, on the evening of August 6, 1872.

          In reply to the toast in his honor he said:

GENTLEMEN,--I thank you very heartily indeed for this expression of

kindness toward me.  What I have done for England and civilization in the

arduous affairs which I have engaged in (that is good: that is so smooth

that I will say it again and again)--what I have done for England and

civilization in the arduous part I have performed I have done with a

single-hearted devotion and with no hope of reward.  I am proud, I am

very proud, that it was reserved for me to find Doctor Livingstone and

for Mr. Stanley to get all the credit.  I hunted for that man in Africa

all over seventy-five or one hundred parishes, thousands and thousands of

miles in the wilds and deserts all over the place, sometimes riding

negroes and sometimes travelling by rail.  I didn't mind the rail or

anything else, so that I didn't come in for the tar and feathers.  I

found that man at Ujiji--a place you may remember if you have ever been

there--and it was a very great satisfaction that I found him just in the

nick of time.  I found that poor old man deserted by his niggers and by

his geographers, deserted by all of his kind except the gorillas

--dejected, miserable, famishing, absolutely famishing--but he was

eloquent.  Just as I found him he had eaten his last elephant, and he

said to me: "God knows where I shall get another."  He had nothing to

wear except his venerable and honorable naval suit, and nothing to eat

but his diary.

But I said to him: "It is all right; I have discovered you, and Stanley

will be here by the four-o'clock train and will discover you officially,

and then we will turn to and have a reg'lar good time."  I said: "Cheer

up, for Stanley has got corn, ammunition, glass beads, hymn-books,

whiskey, and everything which the human heart can desire; he has got all

kinds of valuables, including telegraph-poles and a few cart-loads of

money.  By this time communication has been made with the land of Bibles

and civilization, and property will advance."  And then we surveyed all

that country, from Ujiji, through Unanogo and other places, to

Unyanyembe.  I mention these names simply for your edification, nothing

more--do not expect it--particularly as intelligence to the Royal

Geographical Society.  And then, having filled up the old man, we were

all too full for utterance and departed.  We have since then feasted on

honors.

Stanley has received a snuff-box and I have received considerable snuff;

he has got to write a book and gather in the rest of the credit, and I am

going to levy on the copyright and to collect the money.  Nothing comes

amiss to me--cash or credit; but, seriously, I do feel that Stanley is

the chief man and an illustrious one, and I do applaud him with all my

heart.  Whether he is an American or a Welshman by birth, or one, or

both, matters not to me.  So far as I am personally concerned, I am

simply here to stay a few months, and to see English people and to learn

English manners and customs, and to enjoy myself; so the simplest thing I

can do is to thank you for the toast you have honored me with and for the

remarks you have made, and to wish health and prosperity to the

Whitefriars' Club, and to sink down to my accustomed level.