This is Twain at his best as a humorous keynote speaker. He is pithy and yet uses exaggeration which is often key to being a good funny keynote speaker. Samuel Clemens (Twain) was also a kindly person. His offer to publish the memoirs of his friend Ulysses S. Grant (paying a ludicrous generous royalty for the time) ensured the General's family did not live in penury when he died a slow death from throat cancer. Twain was generous with his time also as the circumstances of this speech suggest. Other speeches that he did for women's or girls' groups include Woman - An Opinion where God help us it was the twelveth toast of the event, Votes for Women (he was ahead of his time in promoting women's suffrage), Women's Press Club where he references Helen Keller, he deliberately goofs up in The Ladies. This fabulous funny keynote speaker finishes Girls with a quote from a boy's composition about girls (spelling mistakes included) who "al-ways now their lessons bettern boys." Other speeches include College Girls and The Dress of Civilized Women.

ADVICE TO GIRLS

          In 1907 a young girl whom Mr. Clemens met on the steamer
          Minnehaha called him "grandpa," and he called her his
          granddaughter.  She was attending St. Timothy's School, at
          Catonsville, Maryland, and Mr. Clemens promised her to see her
          graduate.  He accordingly made the journey from New York on
          June 10, 1909, and delivered a short address.

I don't know what to tell you girls to do.  Mr. Martin has told you
everything you ought to do, and now I must give you some don'ts.

There are three things which come to my mind which I consider excellent
advice:

First, girls, don't smoke--that is, don't smoke to excess.  I am
seventy-three and a half years old, and have been smoking seventy-three
of them. But I never smoke to excess--that is, I smoke in moderation,
only one cigar at a time.

Second, don't drink--that is, don't drink to excess.

Third, don't marry--I mean, to excess.

Honesty is the best policy.  That is an old proverb; but you don't want
ever to forget it in your journey through life.