This speech by the best humorous keynote speaker is a microcosm of what made Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) the most sought after humorous keynote speaker of his generation. The best humorous keynote speakers use observation, wit and pathos in their role as a humorous keynote speaker. This is a lovely example of how the first and probably THE best humorous keynote speaker presented his craft.

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WOMAN'S PRESS CLUB

On October 27, 1900, the New York Woman's Press Club gave a tea

in Carnegie Hall. Mr. Clemens was the guest of honor.

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If I were asked an opinion I would call this an ungrammatical nation.

There is no such thing as perfect grammar, and I don't always speak good

grammar myself. But I have been foregathering for the past few days with

professors of American universities, and I've heard them all say things

like this: "He don't like to do it." [There was a stir.] Oh, you'll hear

that to-night if you listen, or, "He would have liked to have done it."

You'll catch some educated Americans saying that. When these men take

pen in hand they write with as good grammar as any. But the moment they

throw the pen aside they throw grammatical morals aside with it.

To illustrate the desirability and possibility of concentration, I must

tell you a story of my little six-year-old daughter. The governess had

been teaching her about the reindeer, and, as the custom was, she related

it to the family. She reduced the history of that reindeer to two or

three sentences when the governess could not have put it into a page.

She said: "The reindeer is a very swift animal. A reindeer once drew a

sled four hundred miles in two hours." She appended the comment: "This

was regarded as extraordinary." And concluded: "When that reindeer was

done drawing that sled four hundred miles in two hours it died."

As a final instance of the force of limitations in the development of

concentration, I must mention that beautiful creature, Helen Keller, whom

I have known for these many years. I am filled with the wonder of her

knowledge, acquired because shut out from all distraction. If I could

have been deaf, dumb, and blind I also might have arrived at something.

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