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This is a simple little speech by the man who truthfully can be called THE first great humorous keynote speaker. Mark Twain was a great and funny keynote speaker, not just because he had talent but because he prepared and rehearsed his speechcraft constantly. According to his good friend W.D. Howells, Twain or Samuel Clemens as Howell knew him "held that the actor doubled the value of the author's words." I can well imagine how this wonderful humorous, inspirational keynote speaker would have put so much emotion and impish humor into lines like "Her linen is from Belfast, her robe is from Paris, her lace is from Venice, or Spain, or France, her feathers are from the remote regions of Southern Africa, her furs from the remoter region of the iceberg and the aurora, her fan from Japan, her diamonds from Brazil, her bracelets from California, her pearls from Ceylon, her cameos from Rome." Twain was great because he did what Tiger Woods now does. Never stops trying to improve himself. That is what all keynote speakers should endevor to do. Enjoy! THE DRESS OF CIVILIZED WOMAN A large part of the daughter of civilization is her dress--as it should be. Some civilized women would lose half their charm without dress, and some would lose all of it. The daughter of modern civilization dressed at her utmost best is a marvel of exquisite and beautiful art and expense. All the lands, all the climes, and all the arts are laid under tribute to furnish her forth. Her linen is from Belfast, her robe is from Paris, her lace is from Venice, or Spain, or France, her feathers are from the remote regions of Southern Africa, her furs from the remoter region of the iceberg and the aurora, her fan from Japan, her diamonds from Brazil, her bracelets from California, her pearls from Ceylon, her cameos from Rome. She has gems and trinkets from buried Pompeii, and others that graced comely Egyptian forms that have been dust and ashes now for forty centuries. Her watch is from Geneva, her card case is from China, her hair is from--from--I don't know where her hair is from; I never could find out; that is, her other hair--her public hair, her Sunday hair; I don't mean the hair she goes to bed with. And that reminds me of a trifle. Any time you want to you can glance around the carpet of a Pullman car, and go and pick up a hair-pin; but not to save your life can you get any woman in that car to acknowledge that hair-pin. Now, isn't that strange? But it's true. The woman who has never swerved from cast-iron veracity and fidelity in her whole life will, when confronted with this crucial test, deny her hair-pin. She will deny that hair-pin before a hundred witnesses. I have stupidly got into more trouble and more hot water trying to hunt up the owner of a hair-pin in a Pullman than by any other indiscretion of my life. ___________________________________________ Q&A with Chicago based Irish keynote speaker Conor Cunneen. One of this Chicago based humorous keynote speakers inspirations is Mark Twain, whom Conor suggests was the first (and probably greatest) humorous keynote speaker. We asked Conor a few questions about this funny keynote speaker. Q: You often comment that one of the reasons why Clemens was such a wonderful and inspirational humorous keynote speaker was because he worked really hard at his craft. A: It is true. Samuel Clemens (Twain) may have been blessed with great talent, but he knew that if he was to be fully appreciated as a funny, inspirational, humorous, motivational keynote speaker, he would have to prepare and rehearse, rehearse and prepare. His good friend W.D. Howells often commented on the level of preparation Clemens put into being a humorous keynote speaker. In this speech Theoretical Morals, you can see how Clemens plays with words –deliberately mis-pronouncing some of them as in "I try to instil practical morals in the place of theatrical--I mean theoretical." Q: Did he truly appreciate the importance of humor in speechmaking? A: Most definitely. One of his most famous lines is "Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand." He knew humor worked and he worked humor to get his messages across. Q: As a humorous keynote speaker on Marketing, Branding, Foodservice, Cancer and other topics, have you learned from the first great humorous keynote speaker. A: I think I will never stop learning from this man even though he has long since passed away. He was not afraid to use exaggeration. He would smile I think at how ridiculously often you will find in this website, references to funny, inspirational humorous keynote speaker or inspirational, funny, motivational, humorous keynote business speaker on Communication, Cancer, Foodservice and other topics. I think he would see the irony that for a serious search engine to find a website, you often have to use a ludicrous level of hyperbole. Q: What else have you learned from the great man? A: Pause. Clemens wrote that while the correct word is important, ‘nothing is as important as the perfectly timed pause." Pausing is difficult. It takes confidence. I have no problem holding a pause as a business keynote speaker for five, six, seven seconds now because I am confident in my material and my presentation. Q: He was also a master at ironic humor. A: He was indeed. In this speech on Theoretical Morals, (he actually spoke a number of times on morals, he says, "As by the fires of experience, so by commission of crime, you learn real morals. Commit all the crimes, familiarize yourself with all sins, take them in rotation (there are only two or three thousand of them), stick to it, commit two or three every day, and by-and-by you will be proof against them. When you are through you will be proof against all sins and morally perfect. You will be vaccinated against every possible commission of them. This is the only way." Truly this man who was the first great inspirational humorous keynote speaker was a genius.
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