This is a simple, short speech from Mark Twain whom I consider to be the first humorous keynote speaker. This speech is interesting not just because it is good, but because of the punctuation and typesetting that this wonderful humorous, keynote business speaker did himself. Mark Twain planned every word, every intonation, every stage movement in advance. Here, you can see how he set out his pausing and deliberate delivery. The man was a master at his craft of being a humorous keynote speaker but also because he worked really hard at developing good material. Enjoy.

          DELIVERED AT THE AUTHORS' CLUB, NEW YORK

Our children--yours--and--mine.  They seem like little things to talk

about--our children, but little things often make up the sum of human

life--that's a good sentence.  I repeat it, little things often produce

great things.  Now, to illustrate, take Sir Isaac Newton--I presume some

of you have heard of Mr. Newton.  Well, once when Sir Isaac Newton

--a mere lad--got over into the man's apple orchard--I don't know

what he was doing there--I didn't come all the way from Hartford to

q-u-e-s-t-i-o-n Mr. Newton's honesty--but when he was there--in the main

orchard--he saw an apple fall and he was a-t-t-racted toward it, and that

led to the discovery--not of Mr. Newton but of the great law of

attraction and gravitation.

And there was once another great discoverer--I've forgotten his name,

and I don't remember what he discovered, but I know it was something very

important, and I hope you will all tell your children about it when you

get home.  Well, when the great discoverer was once loafn' around down in

Virginia, and a-puttin' in his time flirting with Pocahontas--oh!

Captain John Smith, that was the man's name--and while he and Poca were

sitting in Mr. Powhatan's garden, he accidentally put his arm around her

and picked something simple weed, which proved to be tobacco--and now we

find it in every Christian family, shedding its civilizing influence

broadcast throughout the whole religious community.

Now there was another great man, I can't think of his name either, who

used to loaf around and watch the great chandelier in the cathedral at

Pisa., which set him to thinking about the great law of gunpowder, and

eventually led to the discovery of the cotton-gin.

Now, I don't say this as an inducement for our young men to loaf around

like Mr. Newton and Mr. Galileo and Captain Smith, but they were once

little babies two days old, and they show what little things have

sometimes accomplished.